Picture the scene: the year is 1980, the place is a small village in the Lancashire Hills. A child is brought screaming into a world where The Kids From Fame rule showbusiness with an iron fist, the Rubik's Cube baffles millions and Juliet Bravo stands alone against the massed forces of evil. Without any siblings to play with, or indeed batter any kind of sense into him, the child is free to develop a frankly unhealthy obsession with music starting off by discovering dresser drawers full of dusty old Motown 45s. Then he went on to appreciate clandestine late night Atlantic 252 listening and a while later on began to buy Kenny Ken and Jumping Jack Frost tape packs with his pocket money.

Fast forward a few years and you have, well, me. My name is James, I'm 27 years old and I live in Hackney, East London.

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